Friday, July 11, 2008

Read any good books lately

As I was perusing some blogs today I came across Cats...Books...Life is Good with a list of 100 books supposedly put out by the National Education Association. She had been unable to find the list posted on their site and I was not able to find this exact list anywhere either. However, apparently the average person has only read 6 of these books and like her I have read more than that so I thought that I would post it.

  1. Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen

  2. The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien

  3. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte

  4. Harry Potter series - JK Rowling

  5. To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee

  6. The Bible

  7. Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte

  8. Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell

  9. His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman

  10. Great Expectations - Charles Dickens

  11. Little Women - Louisa M Alcott

  12. Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy

  13. Catch 22 - Joseph Heller

  14. Complete Works of Shakespeare

  15. Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier

  16. The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien

  17. Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks

  18. Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger

  19. The Time Traveler’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger

  20. Middlemarch - George Eliot

  21. Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell

  22. The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald

  23. Bleak House - Charles Dickens

  24. War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy

  25. The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams

  26. Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh

  27. Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

  28. Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck

  29. Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll

  30. The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame

  31. Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy

  32. David Copperfield - Charles Dickens

  33. Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis

  34. Emma - Jane Austen

  35. Persuasion - Jane Austen

  36. The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis

  37. The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini

  38. Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres

  39. Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden

  40. Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne

  41. Animal Farm - George Orwell

  42. The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown

  43. One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

  44. A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving

  45. The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins

  46. Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery

  47. Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy

  48. The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood

  49. Lord of the Flies - William Golding

  50. Atonement - Ian McEwan

  51. Life of Pi - Yann Martel

  52. Dune - Frank Herbert

  53. Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons

  54. Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen

  55. A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth

  56. The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon

  57. A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens

  58. Brave New World - Aldous Huxley

  59. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon

  60. Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

  61. Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck

  62. Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov

  63. The Secret History - Donna Tartt

  64. The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold

  65. Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas

  66. On The Road - Jack Kerouac

  67. Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy

  68. Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding

  69. Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie

  70. Moby Dick - Herman Melville

  71. Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens

  72. Dracula - Bram Stoker

  73. The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett

  74. Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson

  75. Ulysses - James Joyce

  76. The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath

  77. Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome

  78. Germinal - Emile Zola

  79. Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray

  80. Possession - AS Byatt

  81. A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens

  82. Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell

  83. The Color Purple - Alice Walker

  84. The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro

  85. Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert

  86. A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry

  87. Charlotte’s Web - EB White

  88. The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom

  89. Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

  90. The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton

  91. Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad

  92. The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery

  93. The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks

  94. Watership Down - Richard Adams

  95. A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole

  96. A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute

  97. The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas

  98. Hamlet - William Shakespeare

  99. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl

  100. Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

Of this list there are 42 that I have read (in red), 14 that I have never heard of before (in blue), 14 that I have been meaning to read (in green) and those in black I have no desire to read ever. How do you fair?

Also on the topic of books I have some some really good ones lately. All of these are by authors that I typically like their work but these were outstanding examples of the excellent storytelling that they are capable of. I have read two book by Stephen King recently, Duma Key and Bag of Bones, and both were excellent but Bag of Bones was the best book I have read by him since The Stand. Another author that I read regularly is Dean Koontz and he has a series of books about a character named Odd Thomas. These books are fantastically written and the story pulls you along so strongly that you really don't want to put it down. Finally I have been exploring the world of children's literature and came across a book by Neal Gaiman called Coraline. It is a quickread but has some fantastic imagery and an intriguing story line.

If anyone has any recommendation for good summer reading I would love to hear about them. Already on my list are Atheist Universe and a couple of Augustine Burroughs books.

Monday, June 9, 2008

Long Road to Becoming a Doctor

My road to becoming a doctor started many moons ago (20 years or so) when I would visit my grandfather at his office. He is a family practice physician and I would go to his office and talk with his nurses, patients, other doctors and anyone else who would listen and answer my questions. I was fascinated with everything going on in the office. As I matured I became more and more sure that I want to be a physician. To this end I began working in his office at about 12 years old filing papers in charts and filing charts. As I got older I progressed to answering phones then to receptionist to billing/collections clerk to insurance clerk to medical assistant. By the time I graduated college I had done every job in a medical office except doctor.

In college, I pursued a BS in biology with a concentration on Pre-med and graduated in 2003. During my final year of undergrad I applied to several medical school and was either rejected or wait listed. As the end of school approached I grew impatient and searched for another path to medical school. I started looking at Caribbean medical school and out of pure impatience I applied and was accepted to St. Matthews University School of Medicine on Grand Cayman. In June of 2003, my husband and I visited Grand Cayman and the school and the following August we packed up all of our stuff and moved there.

After my first year of medical school a hurricane hit Grand Cayman and the school was temporarily relocated to South Portland, ME. I spent a year in Maine completing my second year of medical school. After the second year of medical school it is required that you take the first of three USMLE exams. I took it the first time and did not pass so I had to take another semester off from school to study for and retake the exam. The second time I passed with no problem. In August of 2006, we moved to Saginaw, MI so that I could complete my final 2 years of medical school by participating in core and elective clinical rotations. After the first year of clinicals (third year of medical school) it is required that the second of the three USMLE exams must be taken and passed. My first attempt at this exam I was about 6 weeks pregnant and nauseous all the time and did very poorly on the exam and did not pass. For the next 5 months I participated in several more rotations and studied to retake the exam at the beginning of December. At this point I was about 7 months pregnant and not at the top of my game and I failed the exam again. I continued with clinical rotations until the 13th of February and on the 19th I gave birth to my beautiful son. I spent the next four weeks recuperating from labor and delivery and studying for my exam yet again. In the middle of May I took my exam for the third time and passed. On May 31st I officially graduated from medical school.

I am currently looking for a residency position in Family Medicine. I would love to be able to start a residency this year but it is looking less and less likely. I am still holding out a little hope that something will come through but there is a high probability that I will not have a position until next July. I will continue to look for positions that can start sooner or a 'pre-match' for next year.

So that has been my long, difficult and crazy journey to get my MD. Looking back on it and knowing everything I know now I would have done many things differently. Some days I think that I would have not gone to medical school at all and helped Brian to pursue all of the things he wanted to do and be a stay at home mom. Other times I think maybe I should have gone to PA or NP school so I could still be in the medical profession. Other times I am sure I would have still wanted to be a doctor but I would have been more patient and waited a year to get into a US medical school.

All of the coulda/woulda/shouldas constantly haunt me. There are some many things I wish I could change so that the lives of my husband and child could be better than they are. I struggle with self doubt and second guess my abilities at every turn. I wonder how I am ever going to be the wife, mother and doctor I aspire to be. I am not sure that I am capable of being any one of those things in the way I want to be and even less sure of my ability to be all three at the same time. Right now I need a 'win' so that I can feel that my life is at least moving in a positive and forward direction rather than standing still or slipping back.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Ugh! I am so behind on this blog

I have so many things that I want to blog about but I have been so distractable and foggy headed lately that I just completely forget about it when I get on my computer. So I finally remembered tonight after completing my homework for my MBA and decided to put a list up here of the things I want to/plan to write about in the next few days/weeks (FSM help me, not months).

My medical school journey.
Hurricane Ivan
Graduation in Cayman
Life with the babe
Moving (again)

I know there is some other stuff I have been thinking about but can't remember now. Oh, well. They will come back to me eventually.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Pregnancy and Birth Story

I know that this is a little belated but with the new baby, trying to finish medical school and working on an MBA I have barely had time to shower much less write blogs. I was/am overjoyed with how my pregnancy, labor and delivery went. I had a excellent OB who was supportive of my, not always mainstream, choices. The nurses were amazing and basically left me to do my thing with minimal interference. The most important piece, that kept me grounded and prevented me from caving, was the presence my loving husband (who still swears that he was nothing more than a cheerleader). So without further ado here is my story.

In the middle of June 2007 I took a home pregnancy test and two little lines appeared; it was positive. I had been feeling kind of under the weather for the previous 1-2 weeks but hadn’t thought much of it until I didn’t start my period when I should have. My hubby and I had decided a couple of months prior that we were going to start trying to conceive and the doctors told us it would probably take a while since I have polycystic ovarian syndrome. But as luck would have it the first cycle after I stopped taking the pill we got lucky. At first I was kind of stunned that it happened so fast but I was also very please and excited.

The next several months flew by. I had my first ultrasound at 11 weeks gestation and our little one was growing well and right on schedule. I only suffered from mild “morning” sickness that was easily kept at bay by remembering to eat something small every hour our so. By 20 weeks the “morning” sickness was gone and I had my second ultrasound. This is when we found out that our precious little one was a boy. At this point it was just a confirmation of what I already knew. I had been saying since I was about 14 weeks along that I was sure that it was a boy.

I think that in general I had a really easy pregnancy. I did not have any back pain or swelling in my feet. I stay active and completing clinical rotations until 4 days before I delivered and 1 week past my due date. I think that I had so few problems because I could not afford to let anything stop me from finishing medical school. I did have some issues: I had pubic symphysis pain starting at about 23 weeks that made it very difficult to sit down for any extended period of time. This was actually kind of good because it meant I had to be up walking around. I also developed a numb/tingling feeling in my left thigh that was really just annoying.

I was due on February 8, 2008. As this date approached I was completing my Emergency Medicine rotation which was scheduled to be finished on the 15th. Starting around the 1st of February I began talking to my little man and asking him to just hang in there a little while longer. I finished the rotation without a single contraction but I was dilated about 3cm the entire last week.

The following Monday (2/18/08) I was 41 weeks and 3 days gestation. I went to the hospital for a ‘non-stress test’ and got the all clear that everything looked good. A little later that day I went to see my OB. I had not had any real contractions and didn’t think that I was anywhere near ready to have this baby but I agreed to have him check my cervix. Much to my surprise I was dilated about 2-3cm. At that point he ‘stripped of my membranes’ meaning that he basically put his finger between the uterine wall and the membranes and separated them (I have to say that this hurt like hell and I felt horrible for the rest of the afternoon. I don’t think that I will ever let a doctor do that again.). He then sent me home with orders to have a glass of wine, relax and let things happen.

That night Brian and I had a nice dinner with our best friends, Tom and Kate, and then I went to bed early. At around 12:30am he came to bed and shortly there after, at 10 minutes to 1, I got up to go to the bathroom. While I was up my water broke. I was still not having any contractions so I decided to tell Brian that my water broke but that I wanted to wait to go to the hospital. I messed around repacking my bag, cleaning, checking e-mail and watching TV all the while having weak contractions 15-20 minutes apart. At about 2:30 the contractions starting coming closer together, lasting longer and were a little more intense. At around 3am I figured that it was time to get going to the hospital because my contractions were very intense, lasting about 60-90 seconds and coming every 5 minutes so I called my OB and headed over.

As I walked in the front door of the hospital my water broke again. I know this sound weird but basically I had another huge gush of fluid. I got up stairs and settled into my room and this is when we discovered that there was meconium in the amniotic fluid. The nurse then checked the heart tones of the baby, took my blood pressure, pulse ox and monitored both of us for 10 minutes.

The next part is why I absolutely love my OB. I was very up front with him about what I wanted out of this experience and he supported me completely. He told the nursed to let me labor in what ever position I wanted with fetal monitoring for 3 minutes every half hour. I was allowed to eat if I wanted (turns out I didn’t but I had lots of good snacks on hand just in case and they came in handy after he was born so I didn’t have to wait for room service). I spent a little bit of time lying on the bed trying to get some rest when we first got to the hospital but as soon as the contractions got going, sitting or lying down hurt too much. This is when I started walking around (pacing actually) and spending some time in the shower. At around 7am the contractions we coming every 2 minutes and lasting about 60-70 seconds. I felt like I couldn't catch my breath they were coming so fast. Sometime around 9:30am I began feeling the urge to push (sorry I don’t remember the exact time but I was preoccupied). After 8-10 really good pushes (I think there was a few other not so good pushes) I had delivered our perfect and absolutely gorgeous son. He came into this world at 9:58am on February 19th, 2008, exactly 29 years to the day after his mother was born. I now have a birthday buddy.

During this whole time my fantastic, wonderful, supportive husband was right there by my side. He was holding my hand, assuring me that I could do it and that I was doing it. I got thru the entire labor and delivery without any medications of any kind. If it hadn’t been for Brian I would have given in and asked for narcotics or an epidural.

Immediately after he was born he was placed on my chest and I swelled with love. Within the first hour he was partaking of his first taste of breast milk and he took to nursing like a pro. Shortly after he was born and we got cleaned and covered up Tom and Kate came to welcome Sebastian to the world. After getting some great photos everyone left so we could get some rest. At around 1:30pm we decided that it was time to clean him up a bit so we gave him his first bath. After his bath we got him dressed and I went to sit back down and cuddle with him a little bit. It was at this point that I noticed that he was grunting and retracting and basically having some trouble breathing. It was not happening consistently but I was still concerned so I had the nurse call the neonatal team to check him out.

After examining him, taking blood and hooking him up to some monitors they decided that his oxygenation was not as good as they would have liked so they wanted to take him to the NICU. They also thought that he might have an infection or meconium in his lungs so he was put on antibiotics and oxygen and placed in a little plastic box (isolet). Having him taken from me at only four hours old was probably the most painful thing I have ever experienced. This little person that I had been carrying around for nine months, who I had been finally introduced to that day, was being ripped from my arms. I know it was only to make sure that he was well cared for and healthy but I felt like my heart was being carved out of my chest. I would have gladly endured a longer more painful labor if it would have meant that he could have stayed with me. Thankfully, he was not doing too bad and didn’t need a ventilator but he was on high pressure oxygen to keep his oxygen saturations above 95%. During this first day in the NICU he was also very sensitive to any kind of stimulation. Even the littlest touch would cause his heart rate to sky rocket and his oxygen levels to plummet. Because of this I was not even able to even comfort him or let him know that I was there for him.

Later that evening my father and my mother-in-law arrived from South Carolina. The trip had been planned for a while and it was just a weird coincidence that they arrived the same day he was born. They came up to the hospital and we took them up to see him and then they went back to our place to settle in. I was allowed to stay in the hospital for 2 nights so that I could be closer to him. I was pumping every two hours around the clock to help stimulate my milk production and spending as much time as I could with him but it was difficult when I was not able to hold him. Wednesday night everyone came up to the hospital and we played games and ate Chinese food in their valiant effort to take my mind off my new baby that was so isolated from me.

On Wednesday I finally began getting some milk when I was pumping. I was so excited that I could at least give him this that would help him get stronger. That afternoon the doctor said that in the morning I could try breastfeeding. So Thursday morning I was up in the NICU at 9am to try breastfeeding again. I was overjoyed to be able to hold him against my skin, to comfort him and make sure he felt secure and loved. The first several times we had to leave on all the monitors and the nasal cannula which made it more difficult but he still did terrific.

On Thursday afternoon I had to check out of the hospital and head home. My friends and family planned a big welcome home dinner. I was so appreciative that they would do this for me (and even clean up afterwards) but I felt really guilty for being home and not being at the hospital with Sebastian. We did have a good time though and all through the night I was going back to the hospital every 2-3 hours to feed him. Sometime I stayed between feedings and other times I went home to get a little sleep. Finally on Friday we got the all clear from his doctor to disconnect all the monitors, except the oxygen monitor, and the remove the supplemental oxygen and let him nurse. During the nursing sessions his oxygen levels actually got better and so by Friday night he was off the oxygen all together and being moved to the ‘growing room’ which is basically for babies who are not longer sick and just waiting for the finally okay to be sent home. I was back and forth to the hospital all Friday night and finally on Saturday morning he got the all clear to go home.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

FInally Done!!!

I am finally done with medical school. I am now officially an M.D. It is kind of surreal. Well I should have a little bit more time to blog now and I have 2 or 3 that I have been waiting to write, so those should be coming in the next couple of days.

TTFN

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Introduction

I have finally decided to get my act together and do something with my website. I decided for now the best(?), easiest(?) thing to do would be to keep a blog. I don't have a great track record on my other blogs (myspace, yahoo 360) of posting regularly but I am going to do better with this one.

I guess I should start with a little information about myself. I am a twenty something wife, mother, doggy momma, medical student and MBA student. I have a wonderful, brilliant, creative, caring and down right sexy husband, Brian. About five weeks ago I gave birth to the most beautiful little boy, Sebastian. He is growing so fast it is hard to keep up. We have a gorgeous Flat Coated Retriever named Lucy who we are trying not to neglect too much while we adjust to life with a baby in the house. I am in the home stretch of my clinical rotations and will be completing my Doctorate of Medicine in 7 weeks and will graduate from St. Matthews University School of Medicine on May 3rd, 2008. I am also working on an MBA at Davenport University and hope to complete it by December.