I have read three really good books in the last several weeks.
The last on I read was Possible Side Effects by Augusten Burroughs. I always run the gambit of emotions when I read his books (this is my 4th I think). There are hilarious parts that make me laugh until I nearly pee myself, there are parts that make me want to cry in empathy and sympathy, I feel envy at some of the adventures that he has. His books never disappoint me and I have his new one in my queue of books to be read.
Just before the Burroughs book, I read the first book in the Cronus Chronicles, The Shadow Theives, by Anne Ursu. It is a fantasy book about 2 cousins who save their friends and classmates from a sickness that the adults can't figure out. It is written at about the same level as Harry Potter (5th - 8th grade) and could be enjoyed by just as wide of an audience. There are two more books in the series, The Siren Song and The Promethean Flame which I hope to read soon.
Right before that I read Gods Behaving Badly by Marie Phillips. This is a wonderfully written book where the "real gods" are the ones from Greek Mythology but they have had to resort to living on earth and have been losing their powers because no one believes in them any more. It is sexy, silly, irreverent and a really quick read.
Currently, I am reading The Omnivore's Dilemma: A Natural History of Four Meals. I am not very far into it yet but it is a interesting read so far and I will write more on it when I am done.
Books in queue: Middlesex (Kate - if I could borrow your copy that would be awesome), When You Are Engulfed In Flames, The Brief Wonderous Life of Oscar Wao, A Wolf At The Table and Freethinkers. I am open to any suggestions.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Sunday, August 17, 2008
15 years in a Nut Shell
Very few people actually read this blog so I didn't actually get this meme passed to me by another blogger but I read it some where and thought it would be fun to write about.
Think back on the last 15 years of your life. What would you tell someone that you hadn’t seen or talked to for 15 years? How would you sum up your life?
You get 10 bullet points, a list of 10 things to summarize you. At the end of your list, tag 5 more people and send on the love.
*Attended and Graduated from Medical School.
*Had a baby.
*Rode out Hurricane Ivan on Grand Cayman Island.
*Lived in
a. Roswell, Georgia
b. Kennesaw, Georgia
c. West Bay, Grand Cayman
d. Westbrook, Maine
e. Anderson, South Carolina
f. Saginaw, Michigan
*Got Married on a cruise ship in Puerto Rico.
*Attended and Graduated from Kennesaw State University with a BS in Biology.
*Graduated from High School.
*Meet my would be husband when I was a freshman in high school.
*Went from a person who would only eat bland ‘everyday’ foods to a person who enjoys a variety of different cuisines and will try foods that I previously disliked.
*Became an aunt and a sister-in-law.
Think back on the last 15 years of your life. What would you tell someone that you hadn’t seen or talked to for 15 years? How would you sum up your life?
You get 10 bullet points, a list of 10 things to summarize you. At the end of your list, tag 5 more people and send on the love.
*Attended and Graduated from Medical School.
*Had a baby.
*Rode out Hurricane Ivan on Grand Cayman Island.
*Lived in
a. Roswell, Georgia
b. Kennesaw, Georgia
c. West Bay, Grand Cayman
d. Westbrook, Maine
e. Anderson, South Carolina
f. Saginaw, Michigan
*Got Married on a cruise ship in Puerto Rico.
*Attended and Graduated from Kennesaw State University with a BS in Biology.
*Graduated from High School.
*Meet my would be husband when I was a freshman in high school.
*Went from a person who would only eat bland ‘everyday’ foods to a person who enjoys a variety of different cuisines and will try foods that I previously disliked.
*Became an aunt and a sister-in-law.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
What does this mean to you?
Driving down the road today I say a church with a sign that read:
"Have you tried a little Salem lately?"
I will freely admit that, due to my own personal prejudices, I tend to assume the worst when it come to organized religion but it seems to me that this sign is condoning witch hunts and encouraging people to take part in them now. I have been thinking about this for several hours and cannot come up with any other explanation.
Is there any other explanation that you can think of?
"Have you tried a little Salem lately?"
I will freely admit that, due to my own personal prejudices, I tend to assume the worst when it come to organized religion but it seems to me that this sign is condoning witch hunts and encouraging people to take part in them now. I have been thinking about this for several hours and cannot come up with any other explanation.
Is there any other explanation that you can think of?
Friday, August 8, 2008
5 Things
5 jobs I've had: Medical Student, Medical Assistant, Office Manager, Billing/Collections/Insurance Clerk, Dipper at Hagen Das
5 places I've lived: Long Branch, NJ; Roswell, GA; West Bay, Grand Cayman; Westbrook, ME; Saginaw, MI
5 movies I can watch over & over: Labyrinth, Princess Bride, Lord of the Rings (all of them), Spaceballs, Willow
5 places I've lived: Long Branch, NJ; Roswell, GA; West Bay, Grand Cayman; Westbrook, ME; Saginaw, MI
5 TV shows I love: The Daily Show; The Colbert Report, Good Eats, Simpsons, Family Guy
5 places I've been on
vacation: Boston, MA; Myrtle Beach, SC; Hilton Head, SC; Sequim, WA; Niagara Falls
5 of my favorite meals: Puerto Rican Rice and Beans, Chicken Terriaki, Veal/Chicken Piccata, Brian’s Hot Wings, Chicken and Dumplings
5 websites I visit daily: Google Reader, My Yahoo, My Space, Friendly Atheist, Pharyngula
5 places I'd rather be
now: Residency, Boston, MA; At the beach, With all my student loans and credit card debt paid off, With Brian,
Thursday, August 7, 2008
The Wind is Blowing and the Water is Rising
As I mentioned in my previous post about my medical school journey, I was living on Grand Cayman when a Class V hurricane (Ivan) hit the island.
Here is the view from our apartment before the hurricane.
It all started around the 9th of September 2004 when the weather reports started talking about a hurricane that was traveling north from the mid-Atlantic towards the Caribbean. On that day it hit Carriacou and Grenada and began its track toward Jamaica. From the paths of previous storms we were pretty sure that if it hit Kingston then the storm would turn to the west and miss Grand Cayman all together. However on the 10th the news came that the storm had bypassed Jamaica and was headed straight for Cayman. On its way to us it would pass over the warm waters of the Caribbean and gain strength. At this point many of my fellow class mates evacuated the island on a plane chartered by the school but since they refused to allow family or pets to travel on the flight we made the decision to stay on the island. Two classmates of mine (Kevin and Dan) also decided to ride out the storm and stayed with us because the school closed the dorms where they were living.
Here is what happened to us.
9/10/04 – Early that afternoon Kevin, Dan and I went to my house to prepare for the storm, stopping by the grocery store, on the way, for provisions. Brian was at work trying to prepare the radio stations and grocery stores. Later on that afternoon Brian arrived home and we continued preparations by putting up storm shutters and picking things up off the floor.
Around 4pm the police came around and said that the power and water was going to be shut off to our area and that we were being evacuated from the house. The four of us packed our stuff into the Alto, grabbed the dog and headed for a friends house. We arrived and settled in at the home of Jamie and Karl, two of our good friends from the island. All told there were 8 adults, 1 child, 3 dogs and 2 cats in a 1000sq foot condo. We continued to have power until about 8pm but we were able to keep the internet going for another 2 hours using Universal Power Supplies (UPS). We used our computers, played cards, imbibed a little alcohol and had dinner. When the UPS finally died at about 10pm we all tried to get some sleep curled up around the living room. The wind was picking up and it was raining a little but nothing serious.
9/11/04 – At around 9am Jamie’s and Karl’s son woke us up complaining of being wet. We all woke quickly and found that the water outside was about a foot up the back door and leaking in around the door jam.
We just kind of hung around for a while until the water started rising more and then the men started moving anything they could from the downstairs to the upper floor. Being guys they grabbed the electronics (computers, TVs, video games etc...) first and then remembered that we might need food. At about 1pm, before anything had been retrieved from the kitchen, there was this loud cracking noise that turned out to be the wood from the door frames splintering. The doors were being ripped out of their frames. Water rushed in and was quickly 4 feet deep. All people and animals were safely on the upper floor as we watched all kinds of items (coolers, furniture, medications, tiki gods) flow through the front door and out the back.
Over the next several hours the rain continued to pound down, the wind continued to howl and the water continued to rise as the waves grew bigger and stronger. It was at about 2pm that the water level peaked as it was lapping at the bottom of the top step. At this point we were trying to figure out what we would do if the water rose any higher. Luckily it did not eventually started to recede. As night was approaching we ventured outside to survey the damage and commandeered the vacant bedrooms of neighboring townhouses in an attempt to get a good night’s sleep. It was hot and muggy, the bed linens were wet and there were bugs everywhere but we tried to sleep as best we could.
9/12/04 – As the sun rose the next morning the heat increased as did the humidity. We all packed up our stuff and decided to hit the road. Kevin and Dan headed for the dorms and eventually the airport. Brian and I with Lucy in tow headed first for Brian’s office with plans to go back to our own house later. After an hour or so of walking over crumbled streets, climbing over fallen trees and surveying the destruction we arrived at what had been Brian’s office.
With nothing to do there we continued on to the grocery store the company he worked for owned and already there were looters. Brian and some other employees took up what ever they could find to fend them off until the building could be secured. We then began our trek towards home which took us a couple of hours even with the kind people who took us (with our dirty and smelly dog) about 1/3 of the way. We were shocked to discover that while we had significant water damage it was all from the roof because the storm surge did not reach it. We cleaned up what we could, chatted with our neighbors and eventually raided the freezer for anything still good and had a grand barbecue. Here is the view from our apartment after the storm passed.
Over the next several days we spent our days at the grocery store helping out, mostly because they needed the help but also because they had air conditioning and fresh food. At home, we had no electricity or running water. We bathed in the ocean because the cisterns had filled with sewage. And I waited to hear about what would happen with school. Two days later word was given that my school would relocate temporarily to Windham, Maine and we began trying to figure out how to get me back to The States. Brian was going to have to stay for a couple of months to help get the island back together before joining me in Maine.
Every day there were long lines of people waiting in a hanger at the airport to get on one of the relief flights to Florida. Many people were told to go home each night and return the next day to try again. Brian and several of his co-workers convinced their boss to charter a plane for the families of the employees who agreed to stay. So on the 16th I was at the airport at 9am waiting to board the plane along with a friend and her 5 month old baby. After all documents were verified we were allowed to board the plane and since we had the baby were giving the bulkhead seats. A little while later when all the employees families had gotten on board the flight attendants were doing their head count and reported to the pilot that there was 20 vacant seats and he decided he would not take off empty. So this began our 6 hour wait on the tarmac with no air flow, no beverages and no food until the airline could find additional 20 passengers. During this time we were all hot and uncomfortable. The baby got very upset and overheated and began vomiting and finally the pilot agreed to let the people with children have water.
At 5pm the flight finally took off and about 80 minutes later we landed in Fort Lauderdale. After getting through customs, immigration and baggage claim it was 8pm. With no money, I called my family and had them book me a hotel room for the night and wire me money so I could by a plane ticket to Atlanta where my family was. The hotel room was great and I think I took about 5 showers that night. I was so glad to be out of the disaster area that was Cayman but I was incredibly sad that I had to leave behind Brian and Lucy.
I am glad to have had the experience and to have come out a better person on the other side but if there is ever a hurricane ever coming anywhere near anyplace that I live I will take the fastest route out of town.
(To see more video of the hurricane and it aftermath click here for Brian's YouTube)
Here is the view from our apartment before the hurricane.It all started around the 9th of September 2004 when the weather reports started talking about a hurricane that was traveling north from the mid-Atlantic towards the Caribbean. On that day it hit Carriacou and Grenada and began its track toward Jamaica. From the paths of previous storms we were pretty sure that if it hit Kingston then the storm would turn to the west and miss Grand Cayman all together. However on the 10th the news came that the storm had bypassed Jamaica and was headed straight for Cayman. On its way to us it would pass over the warm waters of the Caribbean and gain strength. At this point many of my fellow class mates evacuated the island on a plane chartered by the school but since they refused to allow family or pets to travel on the flight we made the decision to stay on the island. Two classmates of mine (Kevin and Dan) also decided to ride out the storm and stayed with us because the school closed the dorms where they were living.
Here is what happened to us.
9/10/04 – Early that afternoon Kevin, Dan and I went to my house to prepare for the storm, stopping by the grocery store, on the way, for provisions. Brian was at work trying to prepare the radio stations and grocery stores. Later on that afternoon Brian arrived home and we continued preparations by putting up storm shutters and picking things up off the floor.
Around 4pm the police came around and said that the power and water was going to be shut off to our area and that we were being evacuated from the house. The four of us packed our stuff into the Alto, grabbed the dog and headed for a friends house. We arrived and settled in at the home of Jamie and Karl, two of our good friends from the island. All told there were 8 adults, 1 child, 3 dogs and 2 cats in a 1000sq foot condo. We continued to have power until about 8pm but we were able to keep the internet going for another 2 hours using Universal Power Supplies (UPS). We used our computers, played cards, imbibed a little alcohol and had dinner. When the UPS finally died at about 10pm we all tried to get some sleep curled up around the living room. The wind was picking up and it was raining a little but nothing serious.
9/11/04 – At around 9am Jamie’s and Karl’s son woke us up complaining of being wet. We all woke quickly and found that the water outside was about a foot up the back door and leaking in around the door jam.
We just kind of hung around for a while until the water started rising more and then the men started moving anything they could from the downstairs to the upper floor. Being guys they grabbed the electronics (computers, TVs, video games etc...) first and then remembered that we might need food. At about 1pm, before anything had been retrieved from the kitchen, there was this loud cracking noise that turned out to be the wood from the door frames splintering. The doors were being ripped out of their frames. Water rushed in and was quickly 4 feet deep. All people and animals were safely on the upper floor as we watched all kinds of items (coolers, furniture, medications, tiki gods) flow through the front door and out the back.
Over the next several hours the rain continued to pound down, the wind continued to howl and the water continued to rise as the waves grew bigger and stronger. It was at about 2pm that the water level peaked as it was lapping at the bottom of the top step. At this point we were trying to figure out what we would do if the water rose any higher. Luckily it did not eventually started to recede. As night was approaching we ventured outside to survey the damage and commandeered the vacant bedrooms of neighboring townhouses in an attempt to get a good night’s sleep. It was hot and muggy, the bed linens were wet and there were bugs everywhere but we tried to sleep as best we could.
9/12/04 – As the sun rose the next morning the heat increased as did the humidity. We all packed up our stuff and decided to hit the road. Kevin and Dan headed for the dorms and eventually the airport. Brian and I with Lucy in tow headed first for Brian’s office with plans to go back to our own house later. After an hour or so of walking over crumbled streets, climbing over fallen trees and surveying the destruction we arrived at what had been Brian’s office.
With nothing to do there we continued on to the grocery store the company he worked for owned and already there were looters. Brian and some other employees took up what ever they could find to fend them off until the building could be secured. We then began our trek towards home which took us a couple of hours even with the kind people who took us (with our dirty and smelly dog) about 1/3 of the way. We were shocked to discover that while we had significant water damage it was all from the roof because the storm surge did not reach it. We cleaned up what we could, chatted with our neighbors and eventually raided the freezer for anything still good and had a grand barbecue. Here is the view from our apartment after the storm passed.
Over the next several days we spent our days at the grocery store helping out, mostly because they needed the help but also because they had air conditioning and fresh food. At home, we had no electricity or running water. We bathed in the ocean because the cisterns had filled with sewage. And I waited to hear about what would happen with school. Two days later word was given that my school would relocate temporarily to Windham, Maine and we began trying to figure out how to get me back to The States. Brian was going to have to stay for a couple of months to help get the island back together before joining me in Maine.
Every day there were long lines of people waiting in a hanger at the airport to get on one of the relief flights to Florida. Many people were told to go home each night and return the next day to try again. Brian and several of his co-workers convinced their boss to charter a plane for the families of the employees who agreed to stay. So on the 16th I was at the airport at 9am waiting to board the plane along with a friend and her 5 month old baby. After all documents were verified we were allowed to board the plane and since we had the baby were giving the bulkhead seats. A little while later when all the employees families had gotten on board the flight attendants were doing their head count and reported to the pilot that there was 20 vacant seats and he decided he would not take off empty. So this began our 6 hour wait on the tarmac with no air flow, no beverages and no food until the airline could find additional 20 passengers. During this time we were all hot and uncomfortable. The baby got very upset and overheated and began vomiting and finally the pilot agreed to let the people with children have water.
At 5pm the flight finally took off and about 80 minutes later we landed in Fort Lauderdale. After getting through customs, immigration and baggage claim it was 8pm. With no money, I called my family and had them book me a hotel room for the night and wire me money so I could by a plane ticket to Atlanta where my family was. The hotel room was great and I think I took about 5 showers that night. I was so glad to be out of the disaster area that was Cayman but I was incredibly sad that I had to leave behind Brian and Lucy.
I am glad to have had the experience and to have come out a better person on the other side but if there is ever a hurricane ever coming anywhere near anyplace that I live I will take the fastest route out of town.
(To see more video of the hurricane and it aftermath click here for Brian's YouTube)
Friday, July 11, 2008
Read any good books lately
As I was perusing some blogs today I came across Cats...Books...Life is Good with a list of 100 books supposedly put out by the National Education Association. She had been unable to find the list posted on their site and I was not able to find this exact list anywhere either. However, apparently the average person has only read 6 of these books and like her I have read more than that so I thought that I would post it.
Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
The Bible
Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
Complete Works of Shakespeare
Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
The Time Traveler’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
Middlemarch - George Eliot
Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
Bleak House - Charles Dickens
War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
Emma - Jane Austen
Persuasion - Jane Austen
The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
Animal Farm - George Orwell
The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
Lord of the Flies - William Golding
Atonement - Ian McEwan
Life of Pi - Yann Martel
Dune - Frank Herbert
Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
The Secret History - Donna Tartt
The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
On The Road - Jack Kerouac
Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
Moby Dick - Herman Melville
Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
Dracula - Bram Stoker
The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
Ulysses - James Joyce
The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
Germinal - Emile Zola
Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
Possession - AS Byatt
A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
The Color Purple - Alice Walker
The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
Charlotte’s Web - EB White
The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
Watership Down - Richard Adams
A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
Hamlet - William Shakespeare
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
Les Miserables - Victor Hugo
Of this list there are 42 that I have read (in red), 14 that I have never heard of before (in blue), 14 that I have been meaning to read (in green) and those in black I have no desire to read ever. How do you fair?
Also on the topic of books I have some some really good ones lately. All of these are by authors that I typically like their work but these were outstanding examples of the excellent storytelling that they are capable of. I have read two book by Stephen King recently, Duma Key and Bag of Bones, and both were excellent but Bag of Bones was the best book I have read by him since The Stand. Another author that I read regularly is Dean Koontz and he has a series of books about a character named Odd Thomas. These books are fantastically written and the story pulls you along so strongly that you really don't want to put it down. Finally I have been exploring the world of children's literature and came across a book by Neal Gaiman called Coraline. It is a quickread but has some fantastic imagery and an intriguing story line.If anyone has any recommendation for good summer reading I would love to hear about them. Already on my list are Atheist Universe and a couple of Augustine Burroughs books.
Monday, June 9, 2008
Long Road to Becoming a Doctor
My road to becoming a doctor started many moons ago (20 years or so) when I would visit my grandfather at his office. He is a family practice physician and I would go to his office and talk with his nurses, patients, other doctors and anyone else who would listen and answer my questions. I was fascinated with everything going on in the office. As I matured I became more and more sure that I want to be a physician. To this end I began working in his office at about 12 years old filing papers in charts and filing charts. As I got older I progressed to answering phones then to receptionist to billing/collections clerk to insurance clerk to medical assistant. By the time I graduated college I had done every job in a medical office except doctor.
In college, I pursued a BS in biology with a concentration on Pre-med and graduated in 2003. During my final year of undergrad I applied to several medical school and was either rejected or wait listed. As the end of school approached I grew impatient and searched for another path to medical school. I started looking at Caribbean medical school and out of pure impatience I applied and was accepted to St. Matthews University School of Medicine on Grand Cayman. In June of 2003, my husband and I visited Grand Cayman and the school and the following August we packed up all of our stuff and moved there.
After my first year of medical school a hurricane hit Grand Cayman and the school was temporarily relocated to South Portland, ME. I spent a year in Maine completing my second year of medical school. After the second year of medical school it is required that you take the first of three USMLE exams. I took it the first time and did not pass so I had to take another semester off from school to study for and retake the exam. The second time I passed with no problem. In August of 2006, we moved to Saginaw, MI so that I could complete my final 2 years of medical school by participating in core and elective clinical rotations. After the first year of clinicals (third year of medical school) it is required that the second of the three USMLE exams must be taken and passed. My first attempt at this exam I was about 6 weeks pregnant and nauseous all the time and did very poorly on the exam and did not pass. For the next 5 months I participated in several more rotations and studied to retake the exam at the beginning of December. At this point I was about 7 months pregnant and not at the top of my game and I failed the exam again. I continued with clinical rotations until the 13th of February and on the 19th I gave birth to my beautiful son. I spent the next four weeks recuperating from labor and delivery and studying for my exam yet again. In the middle of May I took my exam for the third time and passed. On May 31st I officially graduated from medical school.
I am currently looking for a residency position in Family Medicine. I would love to be able to start a residency this year but it is looking less and less likely. I am still holding out a little hope that something will come through but there is a high probability that I will not have a position until next July. I will continue to look for positions that can start sooner or a 'pre-match' for next year.
So that has been my long, difficult and crazy journey to get my MD. Looking back on it and knowing everything I know now I would have done many things differently. Some days I think that I would have not gone to medical school at all and helped Brian to pursue all of the things he wanted to do and be a stay at home mom. Other times I think maybe I should have gone to PA or NP school so I could still be in the medical profession. Other times I am sure I would have still wanted to be a doctor but I would have been more patient and waited a year to get into a US medical school.
All of the coulda/woulda/shouldas constantly haunt me. There are some many things I wish I could change so that the lives of my husband and child could be better than they are. I struggle with self doubt and second guess my abilities at every turn. I wonder how I am ever going to be the wife, mother and doctor I aspire to be. I am not sure that I am capable of being any one of those things in the way I want to be and even less sure of my ability to be all three at the same time. Right now I need a 'win' so that I can feel that my life is at least moving in a positive and forward direction rather than standing still or slipping back.
In college, I pursued a BS in biology with a concentration on Pre-med and graduated in 2003. During my final year of undergrad I applied to several medical school and was either rejected or wait listed. As the end of school approached I grew impatient and searched for another path to medical school. I started looking at Caribbean medical school and out of pure impatience I applied and was accepted to St. Matthews University School of Medicine on Grand Cayman. In June of 2003, my husband and I visited Grand Cayman and the school and the following August we packed up all of our stuff and moved there.
After my first year of medical school a hurricane hit Grand Cayman and the school was temporarily relocated to South Portland, ME. I spent a year in Maine completing my second year of medical school. After the second year of medical school it is required that you take the first of three USMLE exams. I took it the first time and did not pass so I had to take another semester off from school to study for and retake the exam. The second time I passed with no problem. In August of 2006, we moved to Saginaw, MI so that I could complete my final 2 years of medical school by participating in core and elective clinical rotations. After the first year of clinicals (third year of medical school) it is required that the second of the three USMLE exams must be taken and passed. My first attempt at this exam I was about 6 weeks pregnant and nauseous all the time and did very poorly on the exam and did not pass. For the next 5 months I participated in several more rotations and studied to retake the exam at the beginning of December. At this point I was about 7 months pregnant and not at the top of my game and I failed the exam again. I continued with clinical rotations until the 13th of February and on the 19th I gave birth to my beautiful son. I spent the next four weeks recuperating from labor and delivery and studying for my exam yet again. In the middle of May I took my exam for the third time and passed. On May 31st I officially graduated from medical school.
I am currently looking for a residency position in Family Medicine. I would love to be able to start a residency this year but it is looking less and less likely. I am still holding out a little hope that something will come through but there is a high probability that I will not have a position until next July. I will continue to look for positions that can start sooner or a 'pre-match' for next year.
So that has been my long, difficult and crazy journey to get my MD. Looking back on it and knowing everything I know now I would have done many things differently. Some days I think that I would have not gone to medical school at all and helped Brian to pursue all of the things he wanted to do and be a stay at home mom. Other times I think maybe I should have gone to PA or NP school so I could still be in the medical profession. Other times I am sure I would have still wanted to be a doctor but I would have been more patient and waited a year to get into a US medical school.
All of the coulda/woulda/shouldas constantly haunt me. There are some many things I wish I could change so that the lives of my husband and child could be better than they are. I struggle with self doubt and second guess my abilities at every turn. I wonder how I am ever going to be the wife, mother and doctor I aspire to be. I am not sure that I am capable of being any one of those things in the way I want to be and even less sure of my ability to be all three at the same time. Right now I need a 'win' so that I can feel that my life is at least moving in a positive and forward direction rather than standing still or slipping back.
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Ugh! I am so behind on this blog
I have so many things that I want to blog about but I have been so distractable and foggy headed lately that I just completely forget about it when I get on my computer. So I finally remembered tonight after completing my homework for my MBA and decided to put a list up here of the things I want to/plan to write about in the next few days/weeks (FSM help me, not months).
My medical school journey.
Hurricane Ivan
Graduation in Cayman
Life with the babe
Moving (again)
I know there is some other stuff I have been thinking about but can't remember now. Oh, well. They will come back to me eventually.
My medical school journey.
Hurricane Ivan
Graduation in Cayman
Life with the babe
Moving (again)
I know there is some other stuff I have been thinking about but can't remember now. Oh, well. They will come back to me eventually.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Pregnancy and Birth Story
I know that this is a little belated but with the new baby, trying to finish medical school and working on an MBA I have barely had time to shower much less write blogs. I was/am overjoyed with how my pregnancy, labor and delivery went. I had a excellent OB who was supportive of my, not always mainstream, choices. The nurses were amazing and basically left me to do my thing with minimal interference. The most important piece, that kept me grounded and prevented me from caving, was the presence my loving husband (who still swears that he was nothing more than a cheerleader). So without further ado here is my story.
In the middle of June 2007 I took a home pregnancy test and two little lines appeared; it was positive. I had been feeling kind of under the weather for the previous 1-2 weeks but hadn’t thought much of it until I didn’t start my period when I should have. My hubby and I had decided a couple of months prior that we were going to start trying to conceive and the doctors told us it would probably take a while since I have polycystic ovarian syndrome. But as luck would have it the first cycle after I stopped taking the pill we got lucky. At first I was kind of stunned that it happened so fast but I was also very please and excited.
The next several months flew by. I had my first ultrasound at 11 weeks gestation and our little one was growing well and right on schedule. I only suffered from mild “morning” sickness that was easily kept at bay by remembering to eat something small every hour our so. By 20 weeks the “morning” sickness was gone and I had my second ultrasound. This is when we found out that our precious little one was a boy. At this point it was just a confirmation of what I already knew. I had been saying since I was about 14 weeks along that I was sure that it was a boy.
I think that in general I had a really easy pregnancy. I did not have any back pain or swelling in my feet. I stay active and completing clinical rotations until 4 days before I delivered and 1 week past my due date. I think that I had so few problems because I could not afford to let anything stop me from finishing medical school. I did have some issues: I had pubic symphysis pain starting at about 23 weeks that made it very difficult to sit down for any extended period of time. This was actually kind of good because it meant I had to be up walking around. I also developed a numb/tingling feeling in my left thigh that was really just annoying.
I was due on February 8, 2008. As this date approached I was completing my Emergency Medicine rotation which was scheduled to be finished on the 15th. Starting around the 1st of February I began talking to my little man and asking him to just hang in there a little while longer. I finished the rotation without a single contraction but I was dilated about 3cm the entire last week.
The following Monday (2/18/08) I was 41 weeks and 3 days gestation. I went to the hospital for a ‘non-stress test’ and got the all clear that everything looked good. A little later that day I went to see my OB. I had not had any real contractions and didn’t think that I was anywhere near ready to have this baby but I agreed to have him check my cervix. Much to my surprise I was dilated about 2-3cm. At that point he ‘stripped of my membranes’ meaning that he basically put his finger between the uterine wall and the membranes and separated them (I have to say that this hurt like hell and I felt horrible for the rest of the afternoon. I don’t think that I will ever let a doctor do that again.). He then sent me home with orders to have a glass of wine, relax and let things happen.
That night Brian and I had a nice dinner with our best friends, Tom and Kate, and then I went to bed early. At around 12:30am he came to bed and shortly there after, at 10 minutes to 1, I got up to go to the bathroom. While I was up my water broke. I was still not having any contractions so I decided to tell Brian that my water broke but that I wanted to wait to go to the hospital. I messed around repacking my bag, cleaning, checking e-mail and watching TV all the while having weak contractions 15-20 minutes apart. At about 2:30 the contractions starting coming closer together, lasting longer and were a little more intense. At around 3am I figured that it was time to get going to the hospital because my contractions were very intense, lasting about 60-90 seconds and coming every 5 minutes so I called my OB and headed over.
As I walked in the front door of the hospital my water broke again. I know this sound weird but basically I had another huge gush of fluid. I got up stairs and settled into my room and this is when we discovered that there was meconium in the amniotic fluid. The nurse then checked the heart tones of the baby, took my blood pressure, pulse ox and monitored both of us for 10 minutes.
The next part is why I absolutely love my OB. I was very up front with him about what I wanted out of this experience and he supported me completely. He told the nursed to let me labor in what ever position I wanted with fetal monitoring for 3 minutes every half hour. I was allowed to eat if I wanted (turns out I didn’t but I had lots of good snacks on hand just in case and they came in handy after he was born so I didn’t have to wait for room service). I spent a little bit of time lying on the bed trying to get some rest when we first got to the hospital but as soon as the contractions got going, sitting or lying down hurt too much. This is when I started walking around (pacing actually) and spending some time in the shower. At around 7am the contractions we coming every 2 minutes and lasting about 60-70 seconds. I felt like I couldn't catch my breath they were coming so fast. Sometime around 9:30am I began feeling the urge to push (sorry I don’t remember the exact time but I was preoccupied). After 8-10 really good pushes (I think there was a few other not so good pushes) I had delivered our perfect and absolutely gorgeous son. He came into this world at 9:58am on February 19th, 2008, exactly 29 years to the day after his mother was born. I now have a birthday buddy.
During this whole time my fantastic, wonderful, supportive husband was right there by my side. He was holding my hand, assuring me that I could do it and that I was doing it. I got thru the entire labor and delivery without any medications of any kind. If it hadn’t been for Brian I would have given in and asked for narcotics or an epidural.
Immediately after he was born he was placed on my chest and I swelled with love. Within the first hour he was partaking of his first taste of breast milk and he took to nursing like a pro. Shortly after he was born and we got cleaned and covered up Tom and Kate came to welcome Sebastian to the world. After getting some great photos everyone left so we could get some rest. At around 1:30pm we decided that it was time to clean him up a bit so we gave him his first bath. After his bath we got him dressed and I went to sit back down and cuddle with him a little bit. It was at this point that I noticed that he was grunting and retracting and basically having some trouble breathing. It was not happening consistently but I was still concerned so I had the nurse call the neonatal team to check him out.
After examining him, taking blood and hooking him up to some monitors they decided that his oxygenation was not as good as they would have liked so they wanted to take him to the NICU. They also thought that he might have an infection or meconium in his lungs so he was put on antibiotics and oxygen and placed in a little plastic box (isolet). Having him taken from me at only four hours old was probably the most painful thing I have ever experienced. This little person that I had been carrying around for nine months, who I had been finally introduced to that day, was being ripped from my arms. I know it was only to make sure that he was well cared for and healthy but I felt like my heart was being carved out of my chest. I would have gladly endured a longer more painful labor if it would have meant that he could have stayed with me. Thankfully, he was not doing too bad and didn’t need a ventilator but he was on high pressure oxygen to keep his oxygen saturations above 95%. During this first day in the NICU he was also very sensitive to any kind of stimulation. Even the littlest touch would cause his heart rate to sky rocket and his oxygen levels to plummet. Because of this I was not even able to even comfort him or let him know that I was there for him.
Later that evening my father and my mother-in-law arrived from South Carolina. The trip had been planned for a while and it was just a weird coincidence that they arrived the same day he was born. They came up to the hospital and we took them up to see him and then they went back to our place to settle in. I was allowed to stay in the hospital for 2 nights so that I could be closer to him. I was pumping every two hours around the clock to help stimulate my milk production and spending as much time as I could with him but it was difficult when I was not able to hold him. Wednesday night everyone came up to the hospital and we played games and ate Chinese food in their valiant effort to take my mind off my new baby that was so isolated from me.
On Wednesday I finally began getting some milk when I was pumping. I was so excited that I could at least give him this that would help him get stronger. That afternoon the doctor said that in the morning I could try breastfeeding. So Thursday morning I was up in the NICU at 9am to try breastfeeding again. I was overjoyed to be able to hold him against my skin, to comfort him and make sure he felt secure and loved. The first several times we had to leave on all the monitors and the nasal cannula which made it more difficult but he still did terrific.
On Thursday afternoon I had to check out of the hospital and head home. My friends and family planned a big welcome home dinner. I was so appreciative that they would do this for me (and even clean up afterwards) but I felt really guilty for being home and not being at the hospital with Sebastian. We did have a good time though and all through the night I was going back to the hospital every 2-3 hours to feed him. Sometime I stayed between feedings and other times I went home to get a little sleep. Finally on Friday we got the all clear from his doctor to disconnect all the monitors, except the oxygen monitor, and the remove the supplemental oxygen and let him nurse. During the nursing sessions his oxygen levels actually got better and so by Friday night he was off the oxygen all together and being moved to the ‘growing room’ which is basically for babies who are not longer sick and just waiting for the finally okay to be sent home. I was back and forth to the hospital all Friday night and finally on Saturday morning he got the all clear to go home.
In the middle of June 2007 I took a home pregnancy test and two little lines appeared; it was positive. I had been feeling kind of under the weather for the previous 1-2 weeks but hadn’t thought much of it until I didn’t start my period when I should have. My hubby and I had decided a couple of months prior that we were going to start trying to conceive and the doctors told us it would probably take a while since I have polycystic ovarian syndrome. But as luck would have it the first cycle after I stopped taking the pill we got lucky. At first I was kind of stunned that it happened so fast but I was also very please and excited.
The next several months flew by. I had my first ultrasound at 11 weeks gestation and our little one was growing well and right on schedule. I only suffered from mild “morning” sickness that was easily kept at bay by remembering to eat something small every hour our so. By 20 weeks the “morning” sickness was gone and I had my second ultrasound. This is when we found out that our precious little one was a boy. At this point it was just a confirmation of what I already knew. I had been saying since I was about 14 weeks along that I was sure that it was a boy.
I think that in general I had a really easy pregnancy. I did not have any back pain or swelling in my feet. I stay active and completing clinical rotations until 4 days before I delivered and 1 week past my due date. I think that I had so few problems because I could not afford to let anything stop me from finishing medical school. I did have some issues: I had pubic symphysis pain starting at about 23 weeks that made it very difficult to sit down for any extended period of time. This was actually kind of good because it meant I had to be up walking around. I also developed a numb/tingling feeling in my left thigh that was really just annoying.
I was due on February 8, 2008. As this date approached I was completing my Emergency Medicine rotation which was scheduled to be finished on the 15th. Starting around the 1st of February I began talking to my little man and asking him to just hang in there a little while longer. I finished the rotation without a single contraction but I was dilated about 3cm the entire last week.
The following Monday (2/18/08) I was 41 weeks and 3 days gestation. I went to the hospital for a ‘non-stress test’ and got the all clear that everything looked good. A little later that day I went to see my OB. I had not had any real contractions and didn’t think that I was anywhere near ready to have this baby but I agreed to have him check my cervix. Much to my surprise I was dilated about 2-3cm. At that point he ‘stripped of my membranes’ meaning that he basically put his finger between the uterine wall and the membranes and separated them (I have to say that this hurt like hell and I felt horrible for the rest of the afternoon. I don’t think that I will ever let a doctor do that again.). He then sent me home with orders to have a glass of wine, relax and let things happen.
That night Brian and I had a nice dinner with our best friends, Tom and Kate, and then I went to bed early. At around 12:30am he came to bed and shortly there after, at 10 minutes to 1, I got up to go to the bathroom. While I was up my water broke. I was still not having any contractions so I decided to tell Brian that my water broke but that I wanted to wait to go to the hospital. I messed around repacking my bag, cleaning, checking e-mail and watching TV all the while having weak contractions 15-20 minutes apart. At about 2:30 the contractions starting coming closer together, lasting longer and were a little more intense. At around 3am I figured that it was time to get going to the hospital because my contractions were very intense, lasting about 60-90 seconds and coming every 5 minutes so I called my OB and headed over.
As I walked in the front door of the hospital my water broke again. I know this sound weird but basically I had another huge gush of fluid. I got up stairs and settled into my room and this is when we discovered that there was meconium in the amniotic fluid. The nurse then checked the heart tones of the baby, took my blood pressure, pulse ox and monitored both of us for 10 minutes.
The next part is why I absolutely love my OB. I was very up front with him about what I wanted out of this experience and he supported me completely. He told the nursed to let me labor in what ever position I wanted with fetal monitoring for 3 minutes every half hour. I was allowed to eat if I wanted (turns out I didn’t but I had lots of good snacks on hand just in case and they came in handy after he was born so I didn’t have to wait for room service). I spent a little bit of time lying on the bed trying to get some rest when we first got to the hospital but as soon as the contractions got going, sitting or lying down hurt too much. This is when I started walking around (pacing actually) and spending some time in the shower. At around 7am the contractions we coming every 2 minutes and lasting about 60-70 seconds. I felt like I couldn't catch my breath they were coming so fast. Sometime around 9:30am I began feeling the urge to push (sorry I don’t remember the exact time but I was preoccupied). After 8-10 really good pushes (I think there was a few other not so good pushes) I had delivered our perfect and absolutely gorgeous son. He came into this world at 9:58am on February 19th, 2008, exactly 29 years to the day after his mother was born. I now have a birthday buddy.
During this whole time my fantastic, wonderful, supportive husband was right there by my side. He was holding my hand, assuring me that I could do it and that I was doing it. I got thru the entire labor and delivery without any medications of any kind. If it hadn’t been for Brian I would have given in and asked for narcotics or an epidural.
Immediately after he was born he was placed on my chest and I swelled with love. Within the first hour he was partaking of his first taste of breast milk and he took to nursing like a pro. Shortly after he was born and we got cleaned and covered up Tom and Kate came to welcome Sebastian to the world. After getting some great photos everyone left so we could get some rest. At around 1:30pm we decided that it was time to clean him up a bit so we gave him his first bath. After his bath we got him dressed and I went to sit back down and cuddle with him a little bit. It was at this point that I noticed that he was grunting and retracting and basically having some trouble breathing. It was not happening consistently but I was still concerned so I had the nurse call the neonatal team to check him out.
After examining him, taking blood and hooking him up to some monitors they decided that his oxygenation was not as good as they would have liked so they wanted to take him to the NICU. They also thought that he might have an infection or meconium in his lungs so he was put on antibiotics and oxygen and placed in a little plastic box (isolet). Having him taken from me at only four hours old was probably the most painful thing I have ever experienced. This little person that I had been carrying around for nine months, who I had been finally introduced to that day, was being ripped from my arms. I know it was only to make sure that he was well cared for and healthy but I felt like my heart was being carved out of my chest. I would have gladly endured a longer more painful labor if it would have meant that he could have stayed with me. Thankfully, he was not doing too bad and didn’t need a ventilator but he was on high pressure oxygen to keep his oxygen saturations above 95%. During this first day in the NICU he was also very sensitive to any kind of stimulation. Even the littlest touch would cause his heart rate to sky rocket and his oxygen levels to plummet. Because of this I was not even able to even comfort him or let him know that I was there for him.
Later that evening my father and my mother-in-law arrived from South Carolina. The trip had been planned for a while and it was just a weird coincidence that they arrived the same day he was born. They came up to the hospital and we took them up to see him and then they went back to our place to settle in. I was allowed to stay in the hospital for 2 nights so that I could be closer to him. I was pumping every two hours around the clock to help stimulate my milk production and spending as much time as I could with him but it was difficult when I was not able to hold him. Wednesday night everyone came up to the hospital and we played games and ate Chinese food in their valiant effort to take my mind off my new baby that was so isolated from me.
On Wednesday I finally began getting some milk when I was pumping. I was so excited that I could at least give him this that would help him get stronger. That afternoon the doctor said that in the morning I could try breastfeeding. So Thursday morning I was up in the NICU at 9am to try breastfeeding again. I was overjoyed to be able to hold him against my skin, to comfort him and make sure he felt secure and loved. The first several times we had to leave on all the monitors and the nasal cannula which made it more difficult but he still did terrific.
On Thursday afternoon I had to check out of the hospital and head home. My friends and family planned a big welcome home dinner. I was so appreciative that they would do this for me (and even clean up afterwards) but I felt really guilty for being home and not being at the hospital with Sebastian. We did have a good time though and all through the night I was going back to the hospital every 2-3 hours to feed him. Sometime I stayed between feedings and other times I went home to get a little sleep. Finally on Friday we got the all clear from his doctor to disconnect all the monitors, except the oxygen monitor, and the remove the supplemental oxygen and let him nurse. During the nursing sessions his oxygen levels actually got better and so by Friday night he was off the oxygen all together and being moved to the ‘growing room’ which is basically for babies who are not longer sick and just waiting for the finally okay to be sent home. I was back and forth to the hospital all Friday night and finally on Saturday morning he got the all clear to go home.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
FInally Done!!!
I am finally done with medical school. I am now officially an M.D. It is kind of surreal. Well I should have a little bit more time to blog now and I have 2 or 3 that I have been waiting to write, so those should be coming in the next couple of days.
TTFN
TTFN
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